As an addendum to this list of rules, I'd like to walk you through a few things from that wonderful repository of knowledge,
Cracked.com.
You are not some evil genius, criminal mastermind, or master debater. That honor belongs to me. Although, I'll let morgul have the title of Mas. Debater.
Morgul: Yeeeah, and that was enough to make me poke your post with my own thoughts. See what wrath you hath wrought?In all seriousness, if you try to back out of some horrible situation by claiming it to be all a part of an overly convoluted plot, I'll unleash my overly simplistic solution: banhammer. Grow up, be a man (or woman, as the case may be) and behave with a modicum of dignity.
Attempting to act like some sort of pseudo-intellectual in here and talking down to us will not go over well. There are several people on this forum who are ACTUAL intellectuals, and acting like one of us is like riding the elevator with one other person and trying to convince them that they're the one that farted.
Not gonna happen.
Morgul: Just to be clear. Most of us come here to unwind. We screw around, shit up our own corner of the internet, and let our brains shut off. Not always, but a decent amount of the time. Should you try to compete with us, you will be shocked and amazed to find that, guess what? Windshipper's actually a fucking genius who knows a helluva lot more about this subject then you do. Oh, and he's a mod, so proving you're smarter then him's just not going to work out for you either way.
Edit all you want. Try and misdirect. Smoke and mirrors are all a part of the Vegas experience! Oh, wait, we aren't in Vegas? Oh, damn . . . well, in that case leave the prestidigitation to the professionals and own up to something you've said. You're not infallible
and you just sound like a pretentious prick when you try to maintain the upper hand by claiming to be so.
If we have to call you on this one, the consequence will fit the crime (excommunication for the would-be pope).
Morgul: Well said, Caenus. And, frankly, half of us are Mafia players. We know our shit, dawg. We eat Strawmen, and shit wifom.
In order to participate in a debate, you must address the points made by your opponent. Refusal to do so is simply succumbing to the delusion that because you're a super-genius who CAN'T BE WRONG (again with the infallibility, your holiness?). Guess what? If you can't talk someone down in a straightforward debate, then odds are that YOU'RE WRONG AND YOUR CASE SUCKS.
Get over it and learn to argue like someone with an IQ higher than 12.
If you commit this cardinal sin, I'm gonna sic Windshipper on you. You'll beg for death before the end.
Morgul: No, seriously. That's fucked up, Caenus. You're one cruel motherfucker. Then again... we all are, aren't we?
We can track your IP. It's so obvious to the admins that you're the same person it's not even funny. This sort of sick self-dependence is looked on here as a sign that you are incurably ill and must be put down in an inhumane fashion.
Something like posting all of your personal shit to 4Chan. And then banning the hell out of you. Both of you. And your mom.
Actually, your mom can stay.
Morgul: 
Guess what - using the phrase "I'm leaving" means we're gonna lock the door behind you, pawn your shit, and burn the stuff we couldn't sell.
If you resort to the above offense to workaround this one, then you're just setting yourself up to get kicked in the twat, now aren't you?
Seriously, idle threats (especially of - oh, heaven forbid! - going away and never bothering us again) don't phase us. If you're gonna get out, you better get your shit, leave your key on the dresser and burn my goddamn phone number, because I don't wanna see your face again.
Morgul: This is a pet peeve of mine. I am not above whois-ing your ip, finding what town you live in and leaving an anonymous tip about the 20 gigs of kiddy porn I got whitelynx to download to your computer. Do this, and I will personally ruin you.
This one had better be self-explanatory. Explosive topics approached in any manner other than respectful and careful as hell are guaranteed to backfire and result in the banning of the originator of the drama.
Also, advocation of furries and/or Yif will get you banned regardless of how respectful you are, you sick bastard. There's respect for sexual orientation, and then there's just turning a blind eye to some twisted, unnatural shit.
Morgul: I'm not as 
on the furry stuff as Caenus. There's some good, non Yif comics out there, and I acknowledge it's a culture. There's good furries, and... then there's... those furries. In either regard... Yif == After all, most of us are 
. 
The First Amendment states that the GOVERNMENT can make no law "abridging the freedom of speech".
Guess what? Private institutions can make up whatever rules they damn well please. This forum is an extension of a privately owned company, and as such can establish whatever rules of decorum we wish.
Threaten legal action, and I'll sic Windshipper's lawyer on you. And death will come only after you've filled out the requisite forms in triplicate.
Morgul: ...and buried in peat-moss for 3 years, uncovered, recycled as matchsticks...
AKA Reynard syndrome. Seriously though, did your parents never slap the shit out of you for throwing out an insincere apology? No? Dammit all, what has society come to?
If you apologize, you'd better damn well mean it, otherwise I'm gonna assume you're just attempting to weave some elaborate maneuver and pull an offense #1. And, no, my letter to you explaining your ban will not contain an apology of any kind, you will have earned it, jackoff.
Morgul: 
Yes, if you do this you're not only an idiot, but you're 
enough to become the butt end of a running joke. Where do you think Reynard Syndrome came from, hmm? The last jackass to make this mistake.
You are not an elite delta force ninja. I am. Odds are, any credential you make up to bolster your self esteem and give you that last centimeter of "oh-I'm-so-awesome" raging boner can and will likely be trumped on these forums. We boast mathematicians, biologists, physicists, and (as stated earlier) some REAL intellectuals. Wanna convince me you're an English scholar? Use proper grammar. Think I need to accept your claim that you're an M.D.? Don't feed me lines from ER. Trust me, it won't work.
Dr. Loves-himself-too-much will be paged for an urgent meeting with the hospital chief of staff, and frankly, there's just no room in the budget for a sniveling little fuck, so we're gonna have to let you go.
Right after I sic Windshipper on you.
Morgul: There's only one guy on these forums with a limp and pain medication. And he thinks you're an idiot.
Edgy hasn't been edgy since I was a kid. Case in point, emo culture. This is not livejournal. It is not your little playground for you and all your eyeliner sporting friends to come and sulk. Having absolutely no decency and then trying to write it off as being "edgy" is like faking a credential - you aren't edgy. You're just a douche.
And you will be banned. Now go cut yourself.
Morgul: Ahem. Give me all you cash and then go cut your self. Or, I'm sure we could come up with something more enjoyable. For us... not you. And no, you get no say.
