Author Topic: Vending Machine  (Read 19468 times)

Offline Caenus

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #20 on: December 06, 2008, 01:16:19 pm »
You get a restraining order and a lawsuit for assault.

I insert the ace of spades from a brand new deck of cards.
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

Offline windshipper

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #21 on: December 06, 2008, 07:13:17 pm »
You get a restraining order and a lawsuit for assault.

I insert the ace of spades from a brand new deck of cards.
You receive a Motorhead album.

I insert the rest of your deck of cards.
What foes are we to meet in battle that we have not vanquished in the shadows of the human soul? What Daemons scream that have not cried to us from the dark places of the mind? What fear have we of death who know there is immortality in the great and noble deeds of men?

:black101:


Some people say I need to find my innerchild. I tell them that I found him already. He's now hog tied and wrapped in a tarp stuffed in my trunk.

Offline Caenus

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #22 on: December 06, 2008, 08:00:28 pm »
You receive the complete Lawrence Welk DVD box set.

I insert an x-ray of a broken left leg.
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

Offline xofelf

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #23 on: December 06, 2008, 08:20:29 pm »
You get the print off from an ultrasound


*inserts the trimmings of my hair*
~Erica~

"if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

Offline Caenus

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2008, 08:57:56 pm »
You receive the trimmings from someone's pubes.

I insert the following smiley:   :juggle:
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

Offline xofelf

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #25 on: December 06, 2008, 10:19:02 pm »
You get the juggling balls back...in your face!!!


*inserts a annoying ringtone*
~Erica~

"if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

Offline windshipper

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #26 on: December 07, 2008, 02:53:30 am »
You get the juggling balls back...in your face!!!


*inserts a annoying ringtone*

Your phone is promptly removed from you and destroyed in an onboard incinerator. You receive a phone that has one setting: Silent.

We can all learn a lesson from that.

I insert a bottle of beer.
What foes are we to meet in battle that we have not vanquished in the shadows of the human soul? What Daemons scream that have not cried to us from the dark places of the mind? What fear have we of death who know there is immortality in the great and noble deeds of men?

:black101:


Some people say I need to find my innerchild. I tell them that I found him already. He's now hog tied and wrapped in a tarp stuffed in my trunk.

Offline Caenus

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #27 on: December 07, 2008, 09:04:01 am »
You receive a bottle of soda.

I insert my computer's wallpaper image.
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

Offline windshipper

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #28 on: December 08, 2008, 02:37:54 am »
You receive a bottle of soda.

I insert my computer's wallpaper image.

You receive a post written by a Brazilian tranny porno website spammer.

I insert a spammer blocker.
What foes are we to meet in battle that we have not vanquished in the shadows of the human soul? What Daemons scream that have not cried to us from the dark places of the mind? What fear have we of death who know there is immortality in the great and noble deeds of men?

:black101:


Some people say I need to find my innerchild. I tell them that I found him already. He's now hog tied and wrapped in a tarp stuffed in my trunk.

Offline Fated

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #29 on: December 08, 2008, 04:15:40 am »

You receive a post written by a Brazilian tranny porno website spammer.

I insert a spammer blocker.

You obtain one fold-up sign that declares, "Some parts are meat."

I insert the mummified remains of an ancient, Egyptian pharaoh.

Offline Corthos

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #30 on: December 08, 2008, 09:38:10 pm »
You get a bag of jerky.

I insert a plastic hairbrush.

Offline xofelf

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #31 on: December 08, 2008, 11:38:55 pm »
You get a wad of hair

*inserts a pack of gum*
~Erica~

"if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

Offline Caenus

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #32 on: December 09, 2008, 12:14:40 am »
You get lockjaw.

I insert a raspberry scratch-n-sniff sticker.
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

Offline windshipper

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #33 on: December 09, 2008, 12:58:41 am »
You get lockjaw.

I insert a raspberry scratch-n-sniff sticker.
The machine makes a raspberry.

I insert a strawberry.
What foes are we to meet in battle that we have not vanquished in the shadows of the human soul? What Daemons scream that have not cried to us from the dark places of the mind? What fear have we of death who know there is immortality in the great and noble deeds of men?

:black101:


Some people say I need to find my innerchild. I tell them that I found him already. He's now hog tied and wrapped in a tarp stuffed in my trunk.

Offline Caenus

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #34 on: December 09, 2008, 08:50:39 am »
The machine makes you the world's tiniest virgin strawberry daiquiri.

I insert a lock of Cate Blanchett's hair.
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

Offline xofelf

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #35 on: December 09, 2008, 03:15:07 pm »
You recieve the One Ring...and then it explodes in your face.


*inserts a spoon*
~Erica~

"if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

Offline Caenus

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #36 on: December 09, 2008, 04:59:11 pm »
You receive a Splayd.

I insert a broken bicycle horn.
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

Offline xofelf

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #37 on: December 09, 2008, 07:01:29 pm »
you receive a working car horn


*inserts an old wedding gown*
~Erica~

"if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

Offline Caenus

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #38 on: December 09, 2008, 07:49:10 pm »
You receive a flaming geriatric.  And a note that says "100 points if you can guess the classic novel that comes from".

I insert a broken cell phone.
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.

Offline xofelf

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #39 on: December 09, 2008, 09:22:11 pm »
you get a broken Palm Pilot


*inserts hair ties*
~Erica~

"if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"