G33X Nexus Entertainment
Open Discussion => General Discussion => The Wallth Are Thoundproof => Topic started by: xofelf on November 02, 2006, 10:36:49 am
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okay.. lately i've been noticing that there are some things that you can't say around other people without it being twisted. Like "stop playing with it!" i want to compile a list and your help would be appreciated.
cant say: don't touch me there.
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Working at a video store I hear "Is it in yet?" a lot.
:o
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good one.... you can't say "stop banging that!" :-*
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"Well it's about time I got off"
That one's fun on a bus or train.
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"Get your hand outta there!" Especially when it's a girl saying it to a guy and they're sharing a blanket.
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that one is the best so far! can't say 'wow that's hard!' and can't say " i finally got it off the stick!'
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Actual quote from a conversation between Cplan and I
"Well, sometimes you just gotta slap the bitch around"
Yeah, that was me. I got some FUNNY looks at that one.
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i'll bet you did!
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"Hold on a second, will ya? I'm still trying to find the hole."
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"Don't force it in!"
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"I like a job where i can play with things"
my friend alex just said that tonight; he does the lights at our play.
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Convo between me and tinyelf:
TinyElf: But... that requires effort. :(
Me: Then go eff!
Say that one out loud...
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that was a funny experience! okay one for the day! can't say "look i just saw her open it!" my friend sara said this when the librarian opened the........wait for it.......door. my friend kenvin only heard the last sentence......interesting!
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"don't poke it. It bounces" :o
my friend sara was poking my binder and i said that....cuz it does!
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Can't say: will you hold my sack for a sec.
My friend kevin had his hackysack out and i said can i see it for a second. well my friend jessi was sitting in between us. They both looked at me oddly and and i said it's fun to squeeze. it's squishy. Without missing a beat Kevin said that's because all the balls are falling out. The best part was not how amusing this whole conversation about his 'sack' was but the shade of red jessi had turned.
can't say: it came out all fizzy.
think about that one there for a little bit.
Sing little drummer boy and shake forward when it goes barummbumrumbum. Works best if female. Tested and tried. males fail every time.....except for our resident gay....Scott Turner!
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can't say......She can't do it in her pants.
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"In this car, there is not enough room for head." (Non native english speaker, trying to say not enough headroom.)
:-P
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"In this car, there is not enough room for head." (Non native english speaker, trying to say not enough headroom.)
:-P
Remember kids, seat all the way back before you try doing that. Nobody wants to hear the horn going off on regular intervals because your head keeps hitting it.
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those are wonderful!
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"I think I left it in my pants..." (a key?)
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Nice!
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Eh, I know this thread is old, but there's one I accidentally said that sounded so terribly perverted. Keep in mind that I didn't mean to say sack, but it's the only thing I could think of because sacks hold stuff.
"How much does your ball sack hold?"
That was me commenting on a paintball hopper. :wifom:
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nice! :rara:
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My friend Will did a comic commission which featured a busty woman who is quite nude in various parts of it. But it was also really cute, and quirky, 'specially that woman character.
So, when I finished reading the second volume of it, I said to Will, "She's so cute; I love it!" And he said, "Yeah, cute. The whole thing's like 'cute porn.'" We all have a good laugh, when I made things worse.
I said, "Cute porn, yeah! Like kiddie porn!"
Awkward silence...
"WAIT, NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!"
I was... embarrassed, and continued to defend myself when friend Brandon said, "She just meant porn for kids."
Grateful, I said, "Yeah! Like... Disney Porn!!!"
WHY do I always make things worse? :crazy:
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ah...gotta love you ginny!
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Hahahahahahahaha. That's awesome Emerwyn. :toot:
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My friend Will did a comic commission which featured a busty woman who is quite nude in various parts of it. But it was also really cute, and quirky, 'specially that woman character.
So, when I finished reading the second volume of it, I said to Will, "She's so cute; I love it!" And he said, "Yeah, cute. The whole thing's like 'cute porn.'" We all have a good laugh, when I made things worse.
I said, "Cute porn, yeah! Like kiddie porn!"
Awkward silence...
"WAIT, NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!"
I was... embarrassed, and continued to defend myself when friend Brandon said, "She just meant porn for kids."
Grateful, I said, "Yeah! Like... Disney Porn!!!"
WHY do I always make things worse? :crazy:
Wow, that's fantastic.
The best Disney porn, without question, is the ones with Jasmine from Aladdin.
Especially with her tiger. :toot:
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I think you just told us more about yourself than we EVER wanted to know, Cplan. :scumyell:
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i agree!
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:toot:
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This is more of a funny interruption that anything else....
For some reason my HS had a Ban on Rubber Bands, and anytime a teacher wanted on, they had to send a student to the office with a request.
I was sent to the office to do just that one day, and the following conversation took place:
;) = Me :crazy: = Secretary :rara: = Some rude individual who like to talk too much.
;) Mrs. So and So sent me down here.
:crazy: Oh, what do you need?
;) I need a ......
:rara: :Insert Meaning less white noise here:
;) ......rubber....
:crazy: You need a RUBBER, Oh MY GOD!!!!
So yeah, that probably wasn't that funny, but there ya go.
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Here's one I always seem to use unintentionally at LAN parties.
"If he has two NICs, then he can get net with one, and then we can jack off the other."
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Alright, here's another one that just sounds wrong when I ask people about paintball stuff.
"Do you have all of your equipment?"
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Here's one that my friend Jamie is notorious for...
when playing Guitar Hero/Rock Band before starting a hard song he says
"I need my strap on for this one"
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This one was funny.
Morgul and I were talking the other day and I got frustrated.
Caenus: "Fuck this! Fuck Mickey Mouse with a 12" dick, break it off, and beat him with the rest of it."
Morgul: *awkward silence* "See . . . I just can't be in the same room with someone who'd hit Mickey Mouse."
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This one was funny.
Morgul and I were talking the other day and I got frustrated.
Caenus: "Fuck this! Fuck Mickey Mouse with a 12" dick, break it off, and beat him with the rest of it."
Morgul: *awkward silence* "See . . . I just can't be in the same room with someone who'd hit Mickey Mouse."
What can I say, I'm a Mouse Fan.
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Way to go Morgul!!! The Mouse is great.
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I'm actually deathly afraid of Mickey Mouse. :'(
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I have so many of these.
Instead of sitting here typing them all day, I will do them one at a time.
so for now................
On the bus one day:
I did not hear the first part of the conversation.
Only this.
6 or 7 year old girl- "Is it in?"
another girl about the same age- "Yep"
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:doh: :doh:
Damn MTV!
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Lol MTV is great though.
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Uhm (http://e.vampirefreaks.com/emotes/puke.gif)
MTV... = :bang:
:hammer:
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i tend to agree with Sheena!
here's a convo between me and my friend Deanna, we were talking about one of those chain necklaces. :ninja:= Dee :blink: = Me
:ninja: I have a cherry on my balls
:blink: Never heard that one before.
:ninja: Well, Kat put it on here. They are her balls after all. She always has them in her mouth too.
that's an episode into the conversations me and Deanna have in Math class.....
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Interesting haha.
Dave and my conversation.
Back story - Our song is "Come What May"
Me = :innocent:
Dave = :buddy:
:innocent: I love you.
:buddy: I love you too.
:innocent: Come what may...
:buddy: You want me to cum on you?!
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Ok, this one is long.
I have time though.
I was at lunch at school and I had a banana.(Save yourself the time and make the sick comparison now)
My friend Amanda had juice.(Make a comparison for that too.)
She got pissed and shoved "my banana" into "her juice".
This is wrong enough as it is but everyone went so far with it that it was our conversation for the next three days and about four people had a picture and their phones.
Our friend Deanna put a fruit snack wrapper over it and poured in milk to see if the protection worked.
In case you were wondering, it didn't.
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I forgot about the protection part! that was great!
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So did I until I started typing it.
Should we tell them about the screws?
I screwed Deanna during the fire drill.
Ok, I guess I have to now.
I carry around a screw and ask people "Want a screw?" but out loud it sounds like "Wanna Screw"
Then we poke each other with it and call it "screwing"
fun times.....
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didn't you have 3 yesterday? i remember distinctly being poked my 3 screws!
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Huh?
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we have Economics together and he sits next to me(my fault i chose to sit by him) and he attacks people with screws...i was just the lucky victim of the day! ;)
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So he screwed you? haha
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haha you're catching on.
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Haha - I is smart enuff to make dem concoosions on mah own.
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Hey!!! I got yelled at for typing like that!!!!
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it's cuz you're a noob! she's not! and she's pretty...you're not! :lol:
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Lol it has nothing to do with me being pretty.
It was me intentionally typing like an idiot.
KMD - you on the other hand were typing like that out of habit. Therefore making you susceptible to targeting.
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I know she is but still...
Hey guess what.
You just reminded me of an inside joke from about 3 or 4 years ago.
We called it "hot privelages" meaning "hot people" get special privelages.
Random I know, but thought I'd share what you reminded me of.
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oh wow! i remember that one!
anyway something you can't say, "Did you get it up yet?"
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I know she is but still...
Hey guess what.
You just reminded me of an inside joke from about 3 or 4 years ago.
We called it "hot privelages" meaning "hot people" get special privelages.
Random I know, but thought I'd share what you reminded me of.
How did I remind you of said privileges?
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erica you never heard this one.
It was me, my brother, my cousin, and my cousins hot friend kayla.
Sheena, erica reminded me because she used your looks as an excuse for your typing ,as you put it, like an idiot.
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Heh.
Well - thank you for associating me with that.
But I disagree with Erica.
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disagree about what?
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Being pretty.
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you kidding?!?!?!?!?
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No actually.
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Well I'm surprised......
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*lets Sheena be in denial*
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*doesn't*
It's not good...
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what isn't good?
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denial
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but it provides Egypt with water! ;)
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I was waiting for that old joke....
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It's not denial.
To me, it's the truth.
It's a matter of perception.
In my perception I'm not.
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I guess I'll let you think what you want as long as you accept that I disagree with you.
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Your entitled to your opinion.
:lol:
I'm not down on myself, I just don't think that I'm conventionally beautiful.
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Well that's where we disagree.
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*shrug*
Well, haha.
Now that we're done with this whole :emo: fest let's uh... get back to posting!
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lol ok.
so what thread is this again?
lol
things you just can't say....
ok I got one
We were in the library at school.
Now, that gay guy erica has mentioned a few times was there.
The librarian(sorry, media specialist) was hanging something up and asked him...
"scott does this look straight?"
from the other side of the libraray I yell back...
"you're asking the wrong guy"
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You're not supposed to yell in the library!
:dumbass:
:rofl:
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Why not? I do it all the time.
Well maybe not when I'm on forums while I'm in there because I'm not supposed to be.
Other than that though, I yell all the time.
And you can't think of something like that and not say it.
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True.
But still. Not supposed to be loud.
In High School I think they expect it but in college, (especially if your a freshy) you'll get your ass handed to you.
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Oh well I do what I want. :cheers:
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Which then results in :commissar:
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yay! Death of Kevin! *rubs hands evilly* oh sorry! :blush:
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You're nice to your friends haha
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oh he's used to it!
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See that's even worse! haha
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I'm used to it from a lot of people.
But I'm enough of a smartass that it's probably my own fault.
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my point exactly!
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I thought so.
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*glomps*
the AOL voice says, " you've got glomps"
WOW that sounds like a diease!
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So does Utica.
"I just got back from the doctor.
I have a Utica.
It itches!!!"
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wow......you've told me that one before.
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Oh did I?
It's Jeff Dunham's joke.
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I know...you told me the weekend after the show.
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that's this weekend
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*scratches head* well i could have sworn you said you went to a show of his. oh well
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I know...you told me the weekend after the show.
the show was last weekend so the weekend after the show would be now.
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i meant the day after....blonde moment. :blush:
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what moment isn't a blonde moment for you?
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:buddy:
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here's one my friend Corinne is putting in a story she's writing:
This guy is talking to his brother about a girl he likes and his brother says, "You need to be more firm with her." The girl walks in and hears the guy say, "My firmness is none of your concern."
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Erica already knows this one because she was sitting right here and still is and will probably read this while I am typing any second now
But anyway.......
We just had a teacher ask "do you want the lights on or off?"
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The same teacher was having a conversation with another and all me and Kevin heard of it was, "They're cousins. Let's hope they're not flirting."
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Erica already knows this one because she was sitting right here and still is and will probably read this while I am typing any second now
But anyway.......
We just had a teacher ask "do you want the lights on or off?"
Well, that makes perfect sense that she would say that. I could understand how it could be funny.
I think I'm sensitive to this because I someday will be under this type of scrutiny
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haha the cousins one was great.
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Well - I agree with whoever said that.
They really shouldn't be.
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I know, that would be weird.
here's another one.
Some one was talking about jacks for cars and he said "sometimes you have to jack it with both hands"
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That is pretty great.
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I know.
That night everything sounded wrong for some reason.
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Well, that makes perfect sense that she would say that. I could understand how it could be funny.
I think I'm sensitive to this because I someday will be under this type of scrutiny
You gonna join our noble teacher ranks, MissTake?
(for those who don't know, YES I am a teacher).
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I didn't know that but I'm also not surprised. :lol:
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Well, that makes perfect sense that she would say that. I could understand how it could be funny.
I think I'm sensitive to this because I someday will be under this type of scrutiny
You gonna join our noble teacher ranks, MissTake?
(for those who don't know, YES I am a teacher).
Yes =)
I'm planning on being a music teacher. If not than an English teacher.
Hopefully High School level or higher.
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From the music obsession and poems that you've posted it look like you would be good at both. good luck!
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Danke.
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donkey? did you just call me a jackass?
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Danke - Thank you in German.
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oh. I don't speak german so I'll answer in spanish. de nada.
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For future reference... we have some Spanish Nazis lurking around.
So - if you do not speak it fluently use it sparingly :lol:
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oooohhhhh! nnnnnoooooo! not the Spanish Nazis!
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I used to be good at it but I'm rusty since I haven't taken the class since last June.
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ummm...Kevin think about what you just wrote.
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wow.......
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Looks to me like he's saying he hasn't practiced since June, therefore he's a little rusty.
What?
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spanish you sick freaks! :lol:
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That's what I meant! haha
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Alto! Soy el director del ejercito fascisto del espanol! Dame todo su dinero!
:beatdown:
In case you haven't figured out, I'M the Spanish Nazi she's talking about. I live in an area of the country where it's spoken, and I speak it quite well. Not necessarily "fluent" since that literally means "fluid like" and I'm not a native speaker.
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No quiero hablar espanol ahora. Yo prefiero ingles hoy. Mi espanol no esta fuerta porque no lo uso.
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Cae - do you got this one?
Or should I take care of it? hahaha
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Sorry, I forgot to put the second verb in the infinitive. I fixed it though.
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No quiero hablar en espanol ahora. Yo prefiero hablar en ingles. Mi espanol no es tan fuerte ahora como era hace mucho tiempo y estos dias no lo uso.
Caenus, is this correct?
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Looks a fuck of a lot better...
But I'm not a Spanish Nazi so *shrug*
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wind, you added on a little bit but it looks right to me.
Like I said though, my spanish is a little rusty.
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back on topic....
there is a teacher in our school who I had last year for chemistry. he has a toy wand that he pulls out occasionally and one of those things with the boxing glove and a spring that is supposed to look like it punches you.
Anyway...
I was talking to a few people in his class this year and I asked if he still has those.
One person said "yeah he has all kinds of toys"
another person just cracked up and we all got it immediately.
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Oh No...not Harris's toys!
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yep, Harris's toys.
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:siren: :siren: Inside joke alert!!! :siren: :siren:
And yes, Wind. That's much better. Not exactly the correct usage of hace mucho tiempo, but it's close enough to pass in a Spanish speaking country. They'll just laugh at you and call you a gringo.
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I explained the toys though.
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Wasn't in response to you, was in response to the reaction your post received.
I'm not just :commissar: on you, man. I feel like :beatdown: -ing EVERYONE today.
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oh ok.
I saw a negative post and reacted out of habit.
my bad.
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:siren: :siren: Inside joke alert!!! :siren: :siren:
And yes, Wind. That's much better. Not exactly the correct usage of hace mucho tiempo, but it's close enough to pass in a Spanish speaking country. They'll just laugh at you and call you a gringo.
How about "hace dos anos" instead?
And eh, I'll live if they call me a gringo. It's the truth.
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back on topic...
I was walking down the hall and heard "Well she grabbed mine first"
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erica, if you haven't shown intelligence already why start now?
hey that should be on the quote thread.
There you go, Kmd!
Things you can't say!
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:rofl:
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I would appreciate if my posts weren't changed anymore.
I understand why you did it and it doesn't need to be done anymore.
thanks.
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Being someone who identified as lesbian for most of my life I now identify to other people as bi, not because I felt I changed, but because when I realized I loved a man my friends had a hard time wrapping their heads around it. I got tired of explaining that it wasn't all guys it was just him.
I still identify to myself and my husband as lesbian, I just happened to find "the perfect girl" for me in a guy. If it wasn't for him I'd still be purely pussy.
:uhm:
Available here (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2839614&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post343080494) - an SA thread on Lesbos Island suing the Greek government to stop the use of the term "lesbian." Post was made in response to one describing the state of use, stereotyping, and restrictions of the terms "straight," "lesbian," and "bisexual."
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ok that is just weird.
so is she saying her husband is feminine or something?
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ok that is just weird.
so is she saying her husband is feminine or something?
I honestly don't know, she hasn't replied in the thread yet.
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I think she's trying to say that she's still a lesbian, but she just happened to fall in love with a man.
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I think she's trying to say that she's still a lesbian, but she just happened to fall in love with a man.
I expect so, but still, it's a weird sentence to read the first time.
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it's still weird though even if that is what she meant.
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How is it weird Kmd?
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mostly the way it was worded I guess.
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That's not the statement that you made though - you said that it was still weird.
Why is it still weird even after it has been explained to you?
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It's just not something you hear every day.
I don't have anything against lesbians if that's what you're trying to get at.
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How about "hace dos anos" instead?
And eh, I'll live if they call me a gringo. It's the truth.
You, sir, would be called a gabacho. Gringo's call gabachos gringos.
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How about "hace dos anos" instead?
And eh, I'll live if they call me a gringo. It's the truth.
You, sir, would be called a gabacho. Gringo's call gabachos gringos.
Either one would be true, to the best of my knowledge.
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Gabacho is the harsher term and is almost exclusively used for the purpose you described in Mexico and the Western US. In fact, it's usage stems from Mexican slang as opposed to centralized language. In Central America, we're Gringos. Nicaraguans don't know what a gabacho is. Gringo IS the universal term for foreigner.
Gringos don't call gabachos gringos, users of Mexican slang (i.e. gang members and Mexican people who are lower on the socioeconomic ladder) call gringos gabachos.
Trust me, in all the time I spent in Mexico, I was only called a gabacho ONCE.
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"Some people intentionally don't expose themselves to gay people...Probably shouldn't say it like that"
*Everyone laughs*
-College professor
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oh wow...i remember you telling me about that one.